The Not Perfect Ending
by silver-moon-sapphire-sky
Summary: Ever wonder why Yugi, Ryou and Malik want their yamis to have their own body? Read to find the answer -Life isn't fair, and fairytale endings aren't inevitable. No pairings, just humor.


**Hey there, this is a random idea that occurred, it is completed and I have no plans for a continuation or a sequel, so please don't ask for any.**

**Hope you like it!!**

**Oh, and Disclaimer- I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh... I'd like to, but I don't**

* * *

The Yamis and Hikaris had come to an agreement following the end of Battlecity. Marik and Bakura had both agreed not to take control of Malik and Ryou's bodies whenever they felt like it.

Furthermore all six 'souls' had decided that yamis and hikaris should spend equal time in control of the shared bodies, it was the holidays after all. When school started again they would work something else out.

Unfortunately, things weren't going quite as planned…

* * *

Bakura was bored, very bored. Ryou was being a stick in the mud. He had made a list of rules for Bakura to abide by when Bakura was in control of their body. Bakura didn't care much for the list;

Rule 1. Bakura is not allowed to set the man eater bug or other duel monsters on people.

Rule 2. Bakura is not allowed to kill.

Rule 3. Bakura is not allowed to steal or kidnap.

Rule 4. Bakura is not allowed to try to gain total domination of the world.

Rule 5. Bakura is not allowed to play shadow games.

Rule 6. Bakura is not allowed to send people who annoyed him to the shadow realm.

Rule 7. Bakura is not allowed to send items to the shadow realm.

Rule 8. Bakura is not allowed to touch anything connected to electricity.

Rule 9. Bakura is not allowed to eat in between meals.

Rule 10. Bakura is not allowed to eat sugar or have anything else, like red cordial, which could possibly make him go hyper.

Rule 11. Bakura is not allowed to dirty the house.

In short, there was very little Bakura was allowed to do, and it was all along the lines of play nice. Bakura would rather have choked. Unfortunately Ryou concealed a firmer temper than most would expect. If Bakura didn't abide by the rules or he broke them, then Ryou would never let Bakura take control again.

Considering Ryou was good friends with the idiot Pharaoh and his twerp hikari, that wasn't an idle threat. The pharaoh had once claimed he knew of a spell to seal Bakura's spirit into a donut, and then had threatened to give said donut to Joey!!!!!

Aside from that the pharaoh had all sorts of other nasty spells up his sleeves. No Bakura wasn't stupid, he wouldn't cross the pharaoh, well, not until he gained total domination of the world!!!

-Damn it, rule 4… well what the hell was he supposed to do?... Unfortunately the answer was right in front of him, covered in hearts and other 'friendly' shapes...

Yes, it was a Care-bear…

On this bright Saturday morning Bakura was currently sitting on the sofa watching Care-bears. Ryou called it 'therapy'; he believed his Yami needed to make up for a gruesome and unhappy childhood.

Bakura was also eating cornflakes; Ryou had even been generous enough to say that he could have them with milk. Apparently it was good for his nutrition. Bakura had several words for his hikari, SCREW childhood and FUCK nutrition.

Ryou watched Bakura from above- literally (in his see-through form when he wasn't in control, he always seemed to end up floating above Bakura). Like a conscience, or guardian angel, only to tell the truth, he was more like a mother. He stopped Bakura doing bad things and tried to stop him hurting himself…

Usually though, it was a useless act... For a tomb robber Bakura had surprisingly bad instincts for dangerous situations.

Ryou still watched his yami, who was pointedly ignoring him. Bakura was apparently still pissed off. Okay, so Ryou had set down a few ground rules for when Bakura was in control of their body. Wasn't that a sensible precaution???

_Rule 1__. Bakura is not allowed to set the man eater bug or other duel monsters on people__**-**_** supernatural events always got in the papers, and they would eventually be put in a zoo or a mental asylum.**

_Rule 2__. Bakura is not allowed to kill- _**again the papers, notoriety would be a problem, and also they would probably end up in jail.**

_Rule 3. Bakura is not allowed to steal or kidnap-_ **again notoriety, and well Ryou had a thing about stealing and hurting people.**

_Rule 4. Bakura is not allowed to try to gain total domination of the world-_ **Bakura couldn't even tie his shoe laces properly, how could he run the world?**

_Rule_ _5. Bakura is not allowed to play shadow games- _**Bakura was too obsessed with gaming, and besides if he lost (which seemed to happen a lot against the pharaoh) then they would both be stuck in the shadow realm.**

_Rule 6. Bakura is not allowed to send people who annoyed him to the shadow realm-_ **Ryou would like his neighbors and friends to stay around for more than a few months at a time and to stay friendly.**

_Rule 7. Bakura is not allowed to send items to the shadow realm- _**Ryou had a theory (that kind of applied to some other rules), magic was not a toy to be used lightly. There was also the financial situation- he couldn't afford to replace ten items of furniture a day.**

_Rule 8. Bakura is not allowed to touch anything connected to electricity- _**Bakura + Electricity KABOOM! **

_Rule 9. Bakura is not allowed to eat in between meals-_ **Ryou** **didn't want to get fat.**

_Rule 10. Bakura is not allowed to eat sugar or have anything else, like red cordial, that could possibly make him go hyper -_ **Bakura is insane enough without the extra sugar.**

_Rule 11. Bakura is not allowed to dirty the house-_ **Ryou doesn't want to spend all of his time cleaning the house when he is in control.**

Ryou watched his yami, perhaps he had gone a little too far. He couldn't blame Bakura for being annoyed about the Care-Bear thing; maybe he should move him on to Disney or something…

"Bakura, you don't have to watch that," said Ryou.

Bakura still ignored him, but turned off the TV, much to both of their relief.

"You could at least be polite and answer," said Ryou.

"Why? You'll just get mad and make up another stupid rule," said Bakura.

"Alright then, Rule 12, Bakura must be polite at all times!" snapped Ryou. The rules were supposed to prevent Bakura from getting put in jail or hurting himself, not just to stop him having fun. That selfish, ungrateful asshole.

"You can't do that!" growled Bakura.

"I just did," said Ryou.

"This is tyranny!" yelled Bakura.

"Tyranny is how you treated me before Yami and Yugi intervened!" yelled Ryou.

"I saved your life you miserable little worm," Bakura shot back.

"It wouldn't have been in danger if you hadn't taken control of me!" Ryou hollered.

Bakura paused momentarily, "It was Malik's idea!" he finally yelled.

"And you were the stupid one who listened to him!"

"I am not stupid, take that back!"

"Yes you are, and I won't"

"Weakling,"

"Idiot,"

And so the fight fell into the familiar repetition of pointless name calling. This had been known to take up a whole day. Ryou had only one thought going through his head.

'Why me? This is so unfair,'

* * *

"MARIK!" came Ishizu angry voice.

The yami, who was currently in control of Malik's body, was on the run and an angry Ishizu was closing in for the kill. Odion watched the scene, it was a familiar everyday occurrence- it happened at least five or six times a day.

"How dare you!" shrieked Ishizu, almost foaming at the mouth.

Marik was too busy running to reply.

"You shouldn't have peeked in her diary," Malik, invisible to everyone save his yami, floated alongside the panicking boy, "You probably also shouldn't have put itching powder in her clothes and you shouldn't have tried to steal the necklace again. You certainly shouldn't have broken three windows, stolen Ishizu's dueling deck and you definitely shouldn't have torn up her only picture of Shadi," continued Malik.

"Alright I get the point, maybe I went a little too far," conceded Marik, gasping for breath.

"A little?" asked Malik sweatdropping.

"Listen, at least I do worthwhile things to try and achieve our ultimate goal!" protested Marik, stopping rather unwisely to argue his point.

"Which is?" asked Malik dryly.

"World Domination!" screeched Marik and began his insane laughter.

"How does breaking windows, putting itching powder in Ishizu's clothes, reading her diary, stealing her deck and tearing up a picture of the guy she likes get us closer to world domination?" asked Malik curiously.

Marik sweatdropped, "Well, at least I am being destructive,"

Malik privately wondered how his yami could even see being destructive in this pitiful way as even close to world domination. He decided not to ask…

"Maybe you should try using your brain for once and see that you are no where near domination of any sort let alone world domination!" Malik yelled, frustrated, this happened every time.

He didn't even want to know about what sort of a prison record he had. The stuff he did was strange and dangerous enough, but when you added Marik's stuff- you're talking life…. if not execution, in some countries.

"You know you really are a pathetic little piece of…" Marik growled, but got cut off. Ishizu finally caught Marik. She grabbed his ear, his struggles against that grip were in vain, he had no hope.

"You little bastard," she said pulling his face close to hers. There were flames all around.

Malik was laughing at a trembling Marik, "You idiot, you're scared of my sister?"

"What are you kidding me? Of course. She's far scarier than any monster from the shadow realm," said Marik, out loud.

"WHAT?" yelled Ishizu. A vein was now pulsing threateningly on her forehead.

Marik eeped, he just realised that he had made a big mistake. He felt very small at the moment. Malik was chuckling in the background, while Odion watched with a small smirk. Ishizu' fist was incoming at alarming speed.

Now Marik might be a head case, but he was a very smart, albeit slightly insane, teenager. He had one final backup, incase all of his plans backfired on him, as they just had.

Ishizu's fist struck poor **Malik** square in the face.

Yes, Marik being the selfish yami he was, had switched with his poor hikari at the last minute, so Malik got punched when in actual fact he had done nothing… err…very little wrong.

Ishizu and Odion were helping poor Malik to his feet. Marik nearby in see-through form was smirking; once again he had escaped punishment.

Malik mentally cursed his yami, there had to be some way to prevent this from happening in the future. Marik never took a single punishment; Malik was always blamed for anything that happened!

It just wasn't fair.

* * *

"And that takes your life points down to Zero, you lose!" Yami gloated.

There were times when it was annoying to be the hikari of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh who couldn't lose a game and who always gloated so unbecomingly when he won.

Being completely thrashed by him in Uno, Cheat, Chess, Monopoly, Snakes and Ladders, Scrabble Rummy and god knows how many other games, (besides Duel Monsters of course) wasn't much fun.

Yugi was trying not to yell at his darker half, it wasn't Yami's fault he was the king of Games and as such couldn't lose a game.

It definitely was Yami's fault he always gloated when he won though.

Yugi couldn't even win one lousy game of Uno against the Ancient Pharaoh. God damn it was frustrating. Maybe it was petty, and maybe Yugi was just being stupid, but still, why couldn't he win for once?

They were currently playing in Yami's soul room, and since Yami was creating the copies of all the games and their rule books to play in here. Yugi had to wonder exactly how fair the King of Games was being. Not that the ancient Pharaoh could be a cheat, such an unthinkable notion.

He remembered the one time that he had in fact suggested that Yami was cheating and shuddered. Oh the horror.

_////Flashback////_

"Yami, there is just no way you can win this much, that's one hundred and thirty six games to zero! It's not possible," Yugi protested.

"Not probable," was Yami's reply- Yugi really regretted showing him Pirates of the Caribbean. Yami thought Jack Sparrow was a great role model- hence Yugi's suspicion of Yami's cheating ways.

He decided to be blunt; it was probably the only way he would get somewhere, "Yami, are you cheating?"

Yami literally jolted, like he'd been electrocuted, "You think that I would cheat?" he whispered, "you don't trust me," and he began to cry.

Yugi felt horribly guilty as his Yami childishly sniffled, before burying his face in his hands and howling. This was a crying scene that Yugi had never thought his Yami capable of. The taller boy had his head buried in his hands and was sobbing miserably, his entire body wracked with sobs.

"No, Yami, that's not- I," Yugi panicked, he'd never seen his Yami in tears, "I am so sorry, I shouldn't have suspected you," he said "I guess I'm just jealous, everyone seems to like you so much better than they like me, especially the girls,"

"I noticed that too," Yami said sniffling, "it's the tan, the cooler hair and the extra couple of inches in height," he said.

Yugi resisted the urge to kill his Yami. He was feeling low, they could discuss popularity issues some other time, and then he could kill Yami.

"I know your not cheating, it's just frustrating to play with you because I know how the game is going to end every time," said Yugi.

"It's not my fault though," Yami whined.

"I know, and I'm sorry I accused you of cheating. So can I do anything to make it up to you?" Yugi asked.

Yami's tears and sad look immediately vanished "I'll deal," he said.

Yugi stared at him in shock for several minutes.

King of Games, King of Manipulation, what was the difference? He sighed and took the cards, this was so not fair.

_////End Flashback////_

That had been four hours ago, and now whenever Yugi showed any inclination to finish up playing Yami began to sniffle and get teary eyed. He knew he was being manipulated, but he couldn't stop feeling guilty.

Damn this was unfair. Who could have known that Yami was such a superb actor? (Aside from all those duelists he'd beaten) Yugi had never figured that a good polka face could have evolved into such a talent.

For once Yugi was completely sick of games, but Yami showed no such distaste. So of course, Yugi was completely stuck.

Life just wasn't fair…

* * *

The poor hikaris just could not ever get a break; it simply wasn't fair, as they'd all complained. The yamis were living it up, and having a great time, but… that's just the way these things sometimes work.

It is no surprise that the minute Shadi mentioned that there was a spell to give the yamis their own body the hikaris burst into tears. They were not tears of sorrow either, or joy for the yamis. These were large, happy tears of joy for themselves because it would finally mean that they were safe… or safer from the machinations of their yamis.

Seconds later Shadi was drowning in their tears as the three boys began hugging him.

He wondered if he should mention that the spell required the use of Kaiba corporation's technology, and that so far Kaiba's response had been a very short, two letter word…

NO

He should probably also mention that it required a certain alignment of stars, which only occurred every one hundred years…

He should definitely mention that said alignment was due to occur in exactly three seconds…

Exactly twenty seconds after Shadi had mentioned the missed opportunity to the three boys, a short, two-letter word echoed around the world for a full minute.

NO

The Guardian of the Millennium items was then obliged to run for his life. He failed to see how this was his fault though. He'd told them, he'd already known it wasn't possible, so he'd just been passing on the information.

How was he supposed to know they would take it seriously?

He wondered how everyone normally took these three as the lesser threat, because honestly, he couldn't imagine anything scarier at the moment.

Not even Yami, Bakura and Marik combined!

Shadi ran faster, with the three rabid boys on his tail.

Ryou had pulled out a butcher's knife and was also waving the Millennium Ring around. Malik had the Millennium Rod in one hand and a mace in the other.

It was Yugi who made the scariest maniac though, he had his deck in one hand, and was currently throwing those very sharp cards at Shadi with his other. Apparently his precious deck was not as important as was believed, or he was just pissed off enough not to care.

Life wasn't supposed to be a fairytale, with a perfect ending, and this particular ending was far from perfect. In fact for three particular boys, it was definitely a nightmare. It was even worse for Shadi.

**The End.**

**

* * *

Well what do you think?- it was just a random idea that popped into my head, I hope you like it.**

The poor hikaris, I can't believe I put them in such terrible conditions. 

**Oh, and I know it didn't ****include many characters outside the three sets of yamis & hikaris, sorry about that. But I was exploring the relationships between them.**

**Please R & R.**


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